Porn is love you can see.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
