i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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