did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize