She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
