my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize