Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
