Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
