i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
