I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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