I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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