i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
