How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
