It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
