I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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