I hate your face
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
