This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
