Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

You know you think of me naked too

(210): View more from Texas

Not since I found Jesus

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes

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(310): View more from California

Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."

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(248): View more from Michigan

first off, his name is dougie. strike one.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(609): View more from New Jersey

im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...

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(817): View more from Texas

2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.

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(937): View more from Ohio

They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.

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