I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?