You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
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im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
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Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.