Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.

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(858): View more from California

Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.

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(740): View more from Ohio

He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.

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(480): View more from Arizona

library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.

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(914): View more from New York

After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills

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