Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it. http://tfl.nu/od01
  Replies (3) Good night (1399) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume. http://tfl.nu/gckc
  Replies (46) Good night (13438) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex' http://tfl.nu/kqne
  Replies (63) Good night (7159) Bad night (1449)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example. http://tfl.nu/aei8
  Replies (23) Good night (5996) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some. http://tfl.nu/ntfp
  Replies (12) Good night (1359) Bad night (5415)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead, http://tfl.nu/tjky
  Replies (11) Good night (4619) Bad night (1272)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  ...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): ...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks http://tfl.nu/unmu
  Replies (19) Good night (3533) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE http://tfl.nu/77eb
  Replies (7) Good night (781) Bad night (2771)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face. http://tfl.nu/gh9q
  Replies (9) Good night (1277) Bad night (2476)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it. http://tfl.nu/t5pt
  Replies (7) Good night (3338) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire http://tfl.nu/ff4y
  Replies (5) Good night (1756) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here http://tfl.nu/0vaz
  Replies (9) Good night (747) Bad night (1547)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food http://tfl.nu/tmk7
  Replies (1) Good night (366) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that. http://tfl.nu/q1q5
  Replies (5) Good night (183) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one. http://tfl.nu/2a31
  Replies (1) Good night (745) Bad night (160)

Randomize