Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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