I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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