She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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