does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
