Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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