You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
