he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
