i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
