I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
