I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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