So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
