dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
