do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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