There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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