My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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