Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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