what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
