This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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