do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
