Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
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He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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