I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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