Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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