just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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