we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
There are leaves in my underwear?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize