Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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