from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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