There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
