nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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