It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
