My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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