Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
