walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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