We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
