i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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