Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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