problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
