I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
