is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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