it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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