When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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