I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't deserve a penis
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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