Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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