I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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