Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
